POSTED 19 OCTOBER, 2009

Coping With Life and Death

by Mark Huey
mark@outreachisrael.net

reproduced from the McHuey Blog

Thanksgiving dinner in 1978 was a memorable occasion for my then-immediate family. Gathered around the table in Annapolis, Maryland were my parents, older sister, new brother-in-law, and younger brother—when I adamantly proclaimed while pounding my fist on the table “You are all going to Hell if you do not believe in Jesus Christ!” This was not a very subtle approach for a two month old new Believer, with a previous track record of pursuing less than righteous activities. But life is funny, because as the prayers for my family’s salvation have ascended into the Heavenly realm for over thirty-one years, my maturity as a follower of the Messiah Yeshua has grown. Nevertheless, with countless prayers deposited in the golden bowls (Revelation 5:8) for my loved ones, with only nominal if any tangible movement of hardened hearts, the Almighty has finally allowed a physical crisis with my sister to get my family’s attention. It is also getting the attention of those who respond to our many prayer requests.

For seven of the past eight weeks, I have spent an inordinate amount of time in Boulder, Colorado attending to my sister who is engaged in a courageous struggle with a recurrence of breast cancer. While the focus is her health recovery, I have been tangentially conversing and communing with her hurting husband, my aging parents, my caring brother, some close friends, and a variety of others associated with hospital work. During these unexpected weeks away from home, which coincided with the thirty days of Elul and the Fall Feasts, I have had the privilege and joy of serving my family by literally putting my life, ministry projects, and work on hold in order to be available for them. Praise the Lord that He has finally gotten me to a place in my walk where the love of the Messiah is simply manifesting itself through my selfless actions—and not necessarily my anxious words! While I am certainly not on the level of a Mother Teresa, at least the words of Francis of Assisi are being fulfilled in my deeds: “Preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary use words.”

Of course over the years, my parents and siblings have been distantly curious about the transformation that took place in my life over three decades ago. It undoubtedly confused them that my marriage to a woman I met the first year at the church where I was “born again,” ended in a divorce fourteen years later, despite the birth of two beautiful daughters during the marriage. It certainly befuddled them that I got reacquainted at a college reunion and then married, a little over a year later, the love of my life after a twenty-one year hiatus from our one date in 1972. Then, about a year after our marriage, after adopting Margaret’s three children, our new family was ensconced in a Messianic Jewish congregation. The question naturally arose, “Are you trying to become Jewish?” Still, within four years of our new union and a failed attempt at blending families, when our personal spiritual scavenger hunt required us to liquidate our assets and we moved to assist a ministry venture in Honduras—one could imagine the concerned family conversations that ensued. No doubt there were recollections of me as a rabid convert declaring only one way to be saved. Needless to say, I can now appreciate how confused my natural-minded family would be as they have observed my spiritual journey from a safe distance (1 Corinthians 2:14).

With all of this said, for the past two months with some OIM ministry efforts disrupted, I had much time to reflect on the past, present, and future throughout significant conversations—and during extended periods of silence I was able to pray and meditate upon the current circumstances of life. It was through numerous personal interactions, books read to whittle away the time, and even movies watched in the hospital room, that I was reminded how different people dwell upon a multitude of subjects when the fleeting frailty of life becomes real. For a few days prior to leaving Boulder and returning to Kissimmee, the recollections of how people coped with life and death consumed my thoughts, primarily because of my sister’s needs—but also because I had read books I would not ordinarily consider, viewed some movies I would never choose, and had meaningful conversations that would not have been a part of the normal routine of my ministry life.

To quote my sister, “Getting sick has some benefits, if nothing more than to get to know my brother better!” Of course, I could say the same, because for the first time in over thirty years, I was able to get to know my parents, sister, brother-in-law, and brother on a whole different level over an extended period of time. By just being myself, living and operating in the Spirit with the hope that is within me (1 Peter 3:15), I believe that my family rediscovered that I am pretty much the same person as years ago—but with a supernatural peace that surpasses understanding. While they might not yet necessarily know some of the nuances of what faith in the Messiah means for a Believer, I think they each observed that I was not anxious for anything (Philippians 4:6), but was rather reserved in my conversations. I held the firm, unspoken conviction that the love of the Messiah heals not only the heart, but also the body.

Ironically, the highest compliment I received while visiting days upon days at the hospital came from a wise, senior nurse, who observed my actions. She pulled me aside after a few weeks and told me that she noticed that I was what she termed, “emotionally available.” Without getting preachy, I simply said that it was my personal, willful choice to love—coupled with the innate love of God—that compelled me to just be there for my sister. I elaborated about all of the disturbing things going on in the world today that I have no ability or calling to change. However, simply being with my sister and family was something tangible I could do in the here and now. To me it was a great blessing to be available for her, her husband, and my parents in a time of great need.

Finally, I want to report that on the second night home from the hospital, my sister told me that she was awakened in the middle of the night with a vision of the cancer being gone and that she was healed. Upon hearing this, I told her that I was in complete agreement with her night vision and that I would pray for that hope. She quickly corrected me and said it was more than a hope, but real in her mind. I sheepishly, but wholeheartedly agreed!

She was not coping or even hoping. She believed without doubting (James 1:6). May it be so!
In fact, without saying a word, I want to pray and claim these verses over my entire family:

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. so they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified” (Isaiah 61:1-3).

If you will agree, may it come to pass, so that the Holy One may be glorified! Please keep praying.

Until the restoration of all things…

Mark Huey (B.A., Vanderbilt University in History and Graduate Studies at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University) is the Director of Outreach Israel Ministries (www.outreachisrael.net). He is the author of several books, including: TorahScope, Volumes I & II, and Counting the Omer: A Daily Devotional Toward Shavuot. He is also co-author of Hebraic Roots: An Introductory Study.